There could be a new Obi-Wan Kenobi movie in the works, but there are other Star Wars characters who should get a spin-off first, says Chris Edwards.
A bit like a chesty cough, the rumours of Ewan McGregor reprising his role as Star Wars character Obi-Wan Kenobi just won’t go away. And now that an image of the actor with a beard has emerged, everyone is convinced it’s definitely going to happen.
A spin-off film for the Jedi Master – in which he’ll presumably knock about Tatooine getting old – is slated for release in 2020, joining Rogue One and Solo: A Star Wars Story in the anthology camp.
But are there any other Star Wars characters who should get a spin-off before Obi-Wan? I can think of at least 10 who deserve it.
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Best to get the obvious one out of the way. Despite the appeal of Boba Fett clearly coming from the fact that he’s only on the screen for about five seconds, thus making him mysterious and cool, everyone is still desperate to see the bounty hunter’s backstory explored.
To be fair, the adventures of a laser-gun-for-hire seems like too deep a well of ideas to ignore. He could go around immolating all of the CGI aliens from George Lucas’s remastered versions, or something.
It is rumoured that a spin-off directed by Josh Trank was seconds away from being announced, but then Disney watched his Fantastic Four film.
Salacious Crumb is that Kowakian monkey-lizard that sits on Jabba the Hutt’s tail and cackles like a possessed ferret.
I like to think there’s an elaborate and sad backstory to the dishevelled rat slave, in which he was formerly a respected stand-up comedian, but was forced to become a court jester and, as a result, shrunk in size and dignity.
What a wasted opportunity it was to not have a ‘Captain Ackbar’ in Rogue One. The most beloved space fish in the history of cinema could have had a quick cameo in which he gives the similar-but-blue-headed Admiral Raddus tactical advice, thus justifying his eventual promotion.
That didn’t happen, so now we need a two-part epic that sees him evolve from a young carp into a non-water-dependent space admiral, who is definitely Force sensitive.
A Young Princess Leia
Most people will probably dismiss the idea of a Princess Leia spin-off because they think the character’s story has already been told. But what about her adolescent years where she learns all about social injustice and develops a taste for bed sheets as clothing? I believe Millie Bobby Brown was created solely for the purpose of this film.
Darth Maul definitely died in The Phantom Menace, but that didn’t stop the animated Clone Wars series bringing him back as a sort of abominable arachnid man with metal spidery legs where his bottom half used to be. Then the show Rebels gave him his ordinary legs back and killed him all over again.
With that incredibly necessary avenue already explored, it’d be far more interesting if a spin-off focused on his earlier days, perhaps going through puberty and experiencing the excruciating pain of having horns grow through his head.
To most of us, Lobot is just Lando Calrissian’s robot manservant from Bespin, but he actually has a mental backstory concerning that stylish headgear of his.
His headpiece was permanently attached to his skull as a punishment when he was a child. Hooked up to Cloud City’s central computer, he was forced to carry out all sorts degrading tasks, like explaining midichlorians to younglings.
He was then involved in a raid on Jabba’s Palace, which resulted in him taking place in a demolition derby. Disney can squeeze at least seven films out of all that.
One for the environmentalists. A film about Momaw Nadon (the hammerhead bloke we see in the Cantina in Episode IV) could focus on his desperate attempt to protect his planet from the Empire by supplying them with his advanced botanical knowledge.
There would be really obvious metaphors about the environment for the audience to chew on and an inevitable “I told you so” moment, like in I, Robot.
We know that many Bothans died obtaining information about the second Death Star, but the wise-looking lion species haven’t even been rewarded with a feature-length film appearance.
Perhaps in an almost identical film to Rogue One, we could see them embark on their mission, get vaguely attached to a few characters, and then watch them all die an agonising death.
If we’re going to get a Sith origin story, it should definitely be about Palpatine. Now that we’re well and truly past the point of reveling in the mystery of an untold story, we might as well watch the tragedy of his master – Darth Plagueis The Wise – unfold.
We might even get to learn something about the training techniques of the Sith, which presumably involves a lot of self-torture and extensive evil cackling classes.
Max Rebo is the blue elephant thing playing the organ in Jabba’s Palace in Return of the Jedi. Max and his band have performed for a variety of sleazy clients in questionable venues, which begs the question: why isn’t there a film about them going on tour?
We could watch the band rock Hoth and Endor, before naturally being consumed by a life-shattering Death Stick addiction.