With Crimbo just around the corner and Christmas Jumper Day on Friday Dec 15, we let a five-year-old choose the best Christmas jumpers for dads.

It’s Christmas jumper season again… or as it’s better known as, erm, Christmas. These days, us dads are spoiled for choice with the ol’ Crimbo jumpers – trendy ones, ugly ones, movie-themed ones, and even ones that light up. Trying to sort my yuletide wardrobe has never been harder, so I got my five-year-old to do it for me, after I’d done a bit of parading up and down the living room in some of this festive season’s hottest items. So here you have it – the best Christmas jumpers for dads, as ranked and rated by a five-year-old.

(Warning: actual ramblings of a five-year-old included verbatim.)

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11. Labyrinth – Truffle Shuffle

Best Christmas Jumpers For Dads

“I don’t like the the eyes on this one. They’re a bit too scary.”

“You know whose eyes they are, don’t you?”

“Yes, the bad guy’s from that film when he throws a baby.”

£34.99 – Truffleshuffle.co.uk

10. All-Over Christmas – Pull & Bear

Best Christmas Jumpers For Dads

“It’s got sweeties on it and gingerbread.”

£25.99 – Pullandbear.com

9. Home Alone “Little Nero’s Pizza” – Dark Bunny Tees

Christmas Jumpers For Dads

“What is it?”

“It’s from Home Alone.”

“Does L-N-P spell Home Alone?”

[Sighs] “Yeah, why not.”

£25 – Darkbunnytees.com

8. Christmas Puddings – M&S

Best Christmas Jumpers For Dads

“The spikes are good. They look like stinging nettles.”

£25 – Marksandspencer.com

7. Stranger Things

Best Christmas Jumpers For Dads

“I like the Christmas trees on this one… oh no, is that a person dead? I know that monster. His face comes out. It’s weird.”

£19.95 – eBay

6. Light Up Baulbles – M&S

Best Christmas Jumpers For Dads

“It’s got rings on it. And it lights up as well.”

“They’re not rings, they’re called baulbles.”

“What are balls-balls?”

“Forget it.”

£29.50 – Marksandspencer.com

5. Die Hard “Tony” – Dark Bunny Tees

Best Christmas Jumpers For Dads

“This one next because it’s blood… is it blood?”

“It’s meant to be blood, yes.”


“Because someone gets shot.”


“Tony. He’s a baddie. It’s the baddie’s jumper.”

“Who shot him?”

“John Die Hard.”

“Who’s John Die Hard?”

“He’s the greatest hero of all time.”

“Did he live a long time ago?”

“It feels like it from the state of Bruce Willis’ career lately.”

£20 – Darkbunnytees.com

4. Stag & Decorations – M&S

Best Christmas Jumpers For Dads

“Its horns are stuck.”

£25 – Marksandspencer.com

3. Light Up Penguins – M&S

Best Christmas Jumpers For Dads

“It can light up and I like the penguins. I think they’re all funny. It looks like that one’s trying to fall down in the sea.”

£29.50 – Marksandspencer.com

2. Die Hard “Now I Have A Machine Gun” – Dark Bunny Tees

Best Christmas Jumpers for Dads

“I like the cars, I like the guns, I like the police car, I like that person falling down [Hans Gruber, falling to his death]. I think that’s funny.”

£25 – Darkbunnytees.com

1. Star Wars AT-AT Jumper – Merchoid


Best Christmas Jumpers for dads

“It’s the best because it has the AT-ATs. It looks like real Star Wars Christmas film.”

Presumably he means The Empire Strikes Back, not the Star Wars Holiday Special.

£32.99 – Merchoid.com

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